Lessons I've Learned

Dear Friend,

This week has been crazy. Lots of homework and ROTC stuff. I love it to death, but it is really wearing on me. I have a midterm and a test next Wednesday to be studying and my Personal Statement needs to be written for the Naval Academy. But I was thinking about all the important things that have really changed my life and shown me something new. I thought I might share a couple of them with you.

Just about a year ago, when I had been dating Jenna for a few months one of my best friends, Nathan, said something that really made her mad. As you already know, my personality is a fixer. If there’s a problem I want to fix it and find the answer. I don’t know why, but I do know that it can be a problem for sure. So first, being a good boyfriend I take my girl’s side and tell Nathan to apologize, but he says he refuses to apologize for something that he doesn’t think was wrong. Which just made me mad, so I try to get his girlfriend to tell him to apologize, but that doesn’t work. I keep at this for probably a week, and I am just getting so angry at my friend that I can’t stand him! It isn’t so much because he pissed off Jenna, but because I can’t win! So I give up on him and try to work on Jenna and mention that it wasn’t that a big of a deal and maybe she overreacted……ya, not a good way to phrase that. Well that approach just made it worse. Now my friend is sick of me bugging him, and my girlfriend is pissed at me too. Obviously this isn’t going to work and I should bale out. I admit defeat, and stop trying to play “peacekeeper” with the whole situation and get my nose out of their business. It was a pretty sticky situation, but since I got out when I did I managed to save both relationships. What I learned and want you to learn is, don’t get in the middle of two good friends when they are fighting, because either you will lose one friend, or they will both hate you.

When I was about 14 years old I went on a backpacking trip with Boy Scouts and my Dad was able to come. We ended up backpacking around 60 miles in a week. It was so much fun, but really demanding. There were times that I really wanted to quit, but my dad was always there keeping me going. But the last day we had to walk about 10 miles with our packs which weighed about 40 pounds! At that time it was a ton of weight. But that day was hard for my dad, he hung in there but was really struggling, but he always had his pride of doing this trek so he never quit. He fought through it. We went back there four years later now I was 18, and in my prime. I carried a pack that weighed 70-95 pounds. It varied day to day on how much group gear I would carry, and if our little guy, Luke, needed help. But there were several days where my dad would mention himself as too fat and too old. The last day was very similar to the day four years before. It was 12 miles total, part of it being up a mountain, then back down the other side. About 6-7 miles till the end, after the mountain thankfully, my dad really messed up his ankle. The pain was obviously extreme because I remembered my dad’s pride. And it was so hard for him to let us split up his gear between the rest of the crew. I hiked the last miles fighting it with my dad. Seeing him never give up, even through the intense pain. Through this whole situation I learned how so often people change. Many people see there dad as a super hero, who is invincible and never does anything wrong. I was one of those kids way back when. But then you see things how they really are. My dad is just another adult who takes care of me and is there for me. I’m so thankful for that trek, because it really did show me that sometimes people do change, and our perception of people change, but some things never change. My dad will always be a fighter, a warrior, who will never give up. It’s important to look for these characteristics; it shows us who that person really is. I respect and look up to my dad so much for being the man he is, and that trek reminded me of that.

In my English class we are reading the book Perks of Being a Wallflower. There is a part where the main character Charlie says he feels “Infinite” I was thinking what does that mean to me? I think I would have to say that feeling infinite is when you get to experience something new and exciting with someone who you are really close to. A time where there is no real pressure to perform or do something correctly, but something relaxed and where you can be yourself with that special person. It could be seeing the most amazing movie with someone and the end finishes so perfectly that you just stay sitting in your seat for a minute and look at that person and say, “Wow”. And that’s it. That’s all you have to say. Or getting to see a meteor shower with your dad and you feel like you two might be the only ones seeing it. And you put your arm on his shoulder and just take a moment and are in awe together. I think that is what feeling infinite is to me. Just spending those moments with someone truly close to you where you are just taken back for a moment. That’s infinite.

Love,

Justin